Do you go into the pasture or stable and slap a halter on your horse’s head?
The horse sees you approach, there are likely one of 3 responses:
- he looks at you dully and allows the headstall to be put on
- he turns away (and would prefer to run away)
- he comes to you with a bright eye, lowering his nose
We are in a hurry, do we even notice? Well, the horse notices.
There seems to me to be a similarity between how horses like to make a person’s acquaintance, and how some indigenous cultures like to make social contact.
In the Maori culture, for example – first one makes small talk, talks about the geneology and family, explores connections and builds relationships BEFORE the business side of things is ever done. It builds confidence and feeling between the two parties, establishing a common ground of understanding at the commencement of the relationship. This is re-established each time a reconnection is made, although it may be in a more contracted form.
How does the ‘white man’ (Pakeha) do things? Well – he pretty quickly (and often without much in the way of an introduction), launches into the business aspect of the deal. However, if you watch people who are good socially, they will establish the bond first – relaxing and including you. You already like them before the next bit.
You have seen how horses greet each other – they always sniff each other’s nose. A good way to greet a horse is to extend your hand, inviting the horse to sniff it and establish the contact. No doubt, when you do this, the horse recognises that ‘you get it’, that you speak his language.
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Good point and great comparison between human and horse greeting rituals. With people I tend to be a bit shy at first, I am not good at connecting with people though it is a skill I am always trying to develop.
With my horse I always spend a few seconds or minutes to give a treat or a scratch before putting the halter on. I want him to enjoy seeing me and not dread my approach. I always found it depressing that we call our dogs and catch our horses. Bodhi was impossible to catch when I first bought him and it is something I have really worked on. He usually comes when he is called now. Unlike dogs however, sometimes a sun patch and tasty grass is just too amazing to leave and I have to trek out to meet him. He always seems happy to see me and never tries to avoid me though. I think that how a person greets others is a great indication on how he/she plans on treating them. No wonder some horses would rather not do business with us and turn away when our first impressions are so rushed and lousy.
Very prophetic!
That was a really good analogy. It makes perfect sense.
I think my horse is a bit strange. Years ago when I first bought him, he would run away from me every time. But now, he usually does a combination of 1 and 3. He won’t walk up to me, but I’ll go over and pat him before putting the halter on and he’ll reach back and press his nose into my hand. Sometimes he’ll even nicker to me. Then he’ll lower his nose and let me put the halter on. It’s a world of improvement from when it used to take me 15-30 minutes to catch him. His mood fluctuates so much that I never know what to expect. Once in a blue moon, he’ll surprise me and trot right over when I whistle. That’s the best feeling in the world when he does that.
It still boggles my mind how much he’s changed over the years.
This is something I have to remind myself of. I tend to do most things in a no-nonsense, energy efficient sort of way. But marching up to my girl in the paddock brandishing a halter at her is not the best method. Many a time this has resulted in her having a great canter about!
I have usually fled from work and I need to remember to stop, breathe, and quietly approach her. I will try to offer her a hand from now on. I have to say that if I have a little of her aromatherapy oil on me, she is much happier to come to me. Interesting…